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The Scotch Experience:
Guidelines of Distinction
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May Scotch Preserve Us

The horse and mule live 30 years
And know nothing of wine and beers.

The goat and sheep at 20 die
With never a taste of Scotch or rye.

The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is nearly done.

The dog at 16 cashes in
Without a taste of rum or gin.

The cat in milk and water soaks,
And in 12 short years it croaks.

The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nog, then dies at ten.

All the animals are strictly dry -
They sinless live and swiftly die.

And sinful, ginful, rumsoaked men
Survive for three-score years and ten.

But McCoy, with the magic of his Scottish dew,
Will likely stay pickled 'til a hundred and two.

Author Unknown
(except for the 'McCoy' insertion)

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