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Good for What Ails Ye

When all else fails, have a Scotch because:

Beying moderatelie taken, it sloweth age; it stregthenth youthe; it helpeth digestion; it cutteth fleume; it abandoneth melancholie; it relisheth the harte; it lighteneth the mynde; it quickeneth the spirites; it cureth the hydropsis; it healeth the stranguary; it preserveth the head from whyrling - the eyes from dazelyng - the tongue from lispyng - the mouth from snafflyng - the teethe from chatteryng - the throte from ratlyng - the weasan from stieflyng - the stomach from wamblyng - the harte from swellyng - the bellie from wirthchyng - the guts from rumblyng - the hands from shiveryng - the sinowes from shrinkyng - the veynes from crumplyng - the bones from soakyng - trulie it is a soverainge liquor if it be orderlie taken.

Found in Holinshed's 1578 Chronicles of England, Scotland and Ireland (which Shakespeare was to "mine" so successfully a few years later).

The Century Companion to Whiskies by Derek Cooper)

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